Are you in a relationship with a woman who never initiates sex? Feeling frustrated with yet again having to be the person to get things going? As a counselor, I can tell you that this topic comes up a lot more than you might think. Much of this relates to faulty constructs of gender roles.
My Girlfriend Never Initiates Sex! - Washington City Paper
It is only when the spontaneous frenzy of first lust subsides that sex becomes a process that requires initiation and, more often than not, it is the man who makes the first move. In my survey of more than 3, people, The discrepancy is partly explained by the fact that men generally have higher libidos than women, but it also reflects gendered expectations about men appearing to take the lead role. Unsurprisingly, Saturday night and Sunday morning are peak times for domestic sex so, next weekend, when you experience that early morning urge, resist the temptation to roll over to her side of the bed and see whether she will voluntarily attend to your needs. It also ignores the rather obvious fact that male sexual desire is responsive, too, and if, every now and again, your girlfriend took charge, she would undoubtedly trigger feelings of arousal in you, too. As long as a partner responds with enthusiasm it seldom matters whether one person initiates more than the other; however most men, such as you, appreciate a degree of sexual reciprocity. When a woman expresses her desire to have sex with her man it reassures him that he is still sexually desirable and confirms to him that she is still attracted to him.
If You’re Always The One To Initiate Sex, Experts Say It’s Time To Speak Up About It
Our free newsletters give you daily updates on local news and we recommend things for you to do twice a week. My girlfriend always responds positively when I initiate sex with her, but she hardly ever initiates sex with me. I will lotion up in front of her after we shower. But that can take days! You suck at this girlfriend shit.
Family therapist Jill Whitney agrees. Women are reporting less inhibition and more confidence when it comes to initiating sex, and up to 72 percent of college-aged men say they prefer that. Studies across cultures consistently conclude that women have lower sex drives compared to men, and some show that long-term relationships can deplete this drive even further.